


i'm standing here with no apologies

by kurtbasthallen



Series: welcome to my world of truth [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Anti-LGBTQ Language, Anti-LGBTQ Violence, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Outing, Sexist Language, Texting, physical assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5171795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurtbasthallen/pseuds/kurtbasthallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set after 3x14. sebastian never expected to be in this situation. he was always careful. but clearly not careful enough, a voice in his head whispered. what did he expect really? this was ohio. this was america. this was the world he lived in. nowhere was a 100% safe for him, not really. </p>
<p>aka, sebastian gets beaten up and lands in hospital, kurt comes to see him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title of the story comes from the song "underneath" by adam lambert.

Sebastian never expected to be in this situation. He was always careful. _But clearly not careful enough_ , a voice in his head whispered. What did he expect really? This was Ohio. This was America. This was the world he lived in. Nowhere was a 100% safe for him, not really. 

His head fell back against the pillow with a sigh, wincing a little as his head throbbed at the movement. "Fuck," he whispered, the hand that didn't have a needle coming out of it, reached up to press tentatively at his forehead.

Sebastian couldn't imagine what he looked like right now. All of him felt like one big bruise; his limbs throbbed and his face felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. He wouldn't be surprised if it had.

Eyes closed, he could try to picture that he was in a happy place. Maybe back with the Warblers. Maybe back to a time where denial was his entire existence. Sometimes he wished that he were still there. Life was much simpler back then where he wasn't a disappointment. 

As his thoughts went south, memories flooded back. Memories of how he ended up in this awful hospital. God, he hated them. They were a necessary evil, yes, but this hospital trip certainly won't make him happy. 

He could still feel phantom fists beating against his face and arms. Phantom kicks against his chest and legs. Voices ringing in his head, shouting abuse at him. The fact that he was beaten up outside of a gay bar in Ohio wasn't that much of a shocker. Sebastian knew that being openly gay in Ohio would probably end in him getting hurt. He's certainly been punched for sleeping with a guy who, unbeknownst to him, had a boyfriend who was just outside the toilet.

It was the fact that he was beaten up by a gang of gay men, and it wasn't his fault this time. 

kb;kb;kb;kb

Kurt didn't know why he was in this situation again. Visiting ex-enemies in hospital, seemed to be becoming a thing now. First Dave, and now the smirky little meerkat.

After the whole thing that happened with Dave; Kurt, Blaine and Sebastian had come to a sort of truce and decided to stop their fighting. He didn't want to admit it, but he saw something that day in Sebastian and he could actually tell he was genuine. They weren't friends. But they definitely weren't enemies, either. 

Arriving at the hospital without flowers this time, left him feeling a bit awkward. Imagining Sebastian's sarcastic and scathing comments was enough for him to dismiss that idea altogether. He could picture the disgusted scowl right away. But he still felt like he should have brought something. 

Having heard from Blaine and a few of his former Warbler friends about Sebastian getting bashed outside a gay bar, Kurt had felt sympathy for the other teen. Kurt had never experienced that himself, but he could only imagine how he would have felt. No-one deserved that. He hadn't exactly rushed to the hospital; they weren't that close, but he just couldn't wait any longer.

It seemed Kurt was a sucker for forgiving and trying to befriend former enemies after something tragic happened to them. 

kb;kb;kb;kb

Sebastian was drunk. There was something important he couldn't remember. Something really important. Something really fucking important that could turn south very quickly. 

His head thumped against the wall above the urinal as he let himself go. A giggle burst forth as he missed and hit the wall by accident. _Oh well, men can't aim for shit, anyway_ , he thought as he corrected himself.

Something was still flagging warning signs in his head. He shouldn't be here. He really shouldn't be here. 

Sebastian finished his business, zipped himself up and walked out of the bathroom, not noticing a man gaping after him.

Finally listening to the warning sounds in his brain, he decided to give up tonight and just head home. The cool air that rushed over him as he walked out of the club, sobered him up somewhat and helped him to decide to call a cab to take him back home. No way was he going to drive like this. Maybe he could get Jeff to drive him back in the morning. 

Too distracted again was he, that he didn't notice the men heading towards him. Some looked menacing, some disgusted and some smirked with satisfaction. 

kb;kb;kb;kb

Waking with a gasp of pain, Sebastian was somewhat glad that his dream had cut off there. _Well, memory, but semantics._ The other half of him just wanted to stop hurting. Would he rather go through the emotional trauma of those memories or deal with the physical pain of the outside world? Physical, he decided, as his mind echoed back the voices that he would have heard if his dream had continued. 

He hated this so much. He hated feeling weak and helpless. Why did this have to happen now when he was just starting to feel happy? When he had turned over a new leaf? Karma, maybe? Not that he had had a shitty hand dealt to him already in his life, he thought, sighing loudly. 

A knock on his door startled him a little, causing him to hiss in pain. "Come in," he bit out through clenched teeth. Where was a damn nurse when you needed them? He didn't think that was one of them as they had taken to barging in more often that not. 

He looked up at the doorway as the door inched open slowly, not expecting the face in the other side. "Hummel? What are you doing here?" The look on the taller teen's face was one of confusion. He really hadn't expected a visit from him. 

"Hi," Hummel replied softly, giving him a small but sad smile.

This was a whole new level of weird. _I know we don't throw hateful words at each other anymore, but really?_ Out of the wonder twins, Sebastian had expected Blaine to visit, not Kurt. "Hey," he hesitated slightly, giving the other boy a once over. 

Hummel stepped further into the room as Sebastian gestured towards the guest seat beside him. He might as well be polite. 

"How're you feeling?" Hummel was staring at him with an earnest expression. Although, he wasn't quite able to mask his wince as Sebastian guessed that he had just realised what he had said. 

Sebastian stared at him for a few seconds before raising an eyebrow. "Just peachy. No broken bones, so I'll live," he drawled. At the last second, he stopped himself from shrugging a shoulder instinctively. Just because he hadn't broken anything, didn't mean he wouldn't ache. 

Hummel seemed to huff a laugh out before raising a hand to his mouth to cover his smile. "That's good."

Before Sebastian could think of something to say ... and it would have been perfect and witty, maybe even a little sexual innuendo, because who doesn't love those? ... The door opened again and Sebastian looked up into the face of his father. His father who had a stony look on his face. 

_Not now. Please don't start with the rants now, Dad. Especially not in front of Hummel, of all people._ Sebastian wanted to jump out the window or somehow magic Hummel out of the room. He could just imagine what would come out of his father's mouth. 

"Hummel, do you mind-..."

Sebastian was cut off by his father's sour tone. "Now, now, Sebastian, don't be impolite. Maybe a friend of yours should hear this. Maybe they'll be able to convince you, although I'm not too sure now I'm thinking about it."

His father's gaze looked over Hummel as though he was an interesting specimen of insect under his microscope. Now that Sebastian was looking at Hummel properly, he did seem to be wearing more conservative clothes than he usually did... He could only imagine the diatribe that would be coming out of his father's mouth right now otherwise. 

"Anyway," he drawled, gaze transferring back to his son, his expression becoming stern again. "I've told you before, Sebastian. If you wanted to throw yourself around you should be more careful..."

 _Oh fuck no, don't you dare say what I think you're about to say, Dad._ He could feel himself becoming panicked, his breathing quickening. _No, no, no, no, Hummel is here. Out of everyone I know... Hummel?!_ Sebastian wanted to slam his hands over his ears and desperately pretend this wasn't happening right now. 

"... Ohio, Sebastian. Even a gay man from Ohio can be transphobic. It was just a matter of time, son, really. You sleep with the wrong guy and they won't appreciate the fact that you were born a girl."


	2. Chapter 2

Silence. That was all he could hear. It was like his head was underwater. His brain had shut down. He didn't want to look up and see Hummel's reaction. He didn't want to listen to another of his father's rants where he just thought he was 'helping him'.

Picking at the blanket he was laying under, he stared at his hand movements.

The action was actually quite soothing. It _needed_ to be soothing.

He couldn't believe his father had just said that in front of someone. He knew that Sebastian was stealth with all of his friends; they had discussed it in length when he had transferred to Dalton. A single room was vital as he needed his privacy and he didn't want to be treated like a freak for once in his life. For once in his life, he had been treated as an equal. An attractive young man who could get any guy he wanted. But now everything was going to change. Hummel had been handed a juicy piece of gossip, and possible blackmail, that would ruin everything Sebastian held dear. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry. This was the guy he had insulted and put down for wearing women's clothes. Oh, the irony wasn't lost on him. It probably wasn't lost on Hummel either. 

"Get out." Sebastian's words were quiet; his voice was starting to tremble. The teenager looked up at his father, gritting his teeth, trying to contain his anger. "Just go away, Dad. I don't want to see you."

The eyes staring down at him were losing its anger. Almost like he had realised what he had said. Yes, you fucked up, you asshole. "Seb, I..."

"Just go!" The words came out in a roar. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes. He was so angry. So, so angry. So frustrated that this is the hand he had been dealt. So upset that things had come out in this way.

Out of the corner of his eye, he had seen Hummel jump in his seat. He wasn't even sorry.

Sebastian's head fell in his hands, shoving the heels into his eyes, trying to stop his tears from falling. The sound of the door falling closed was loud over the quiet in his room. He hoped that Hummel had left, too. He didn't want a confrontation, right now. He didn't know whether Hummel would be cruel or sympathetic. He didn't know which he'd prefer at this moment in time. Everything was a mess. He had gotten too cocky... thinking he was invincible... thinking he was safe... That was a joke right there.

"Sebastian."

So, Hummel was still here, then. Why couldn't he have left with his father?

"Go. Just go," Sebastian's words were muttered into his hands. He didn't want to see his reaction right now. He was only just about holding it together. "I don't need your judgement right now, Kurt." He really didn't. He knew the dam was about to burst and he just needed him gone. "Please." The last word came out as a plea.

Movement beside him caused him to let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't saying anything. _Yes. Go. Go, go, go, go._ He could hear the sound of leather on lino as Hummel walked around his bed and heard the creak of the door as it opened. But then, he didn't hear it closed again. _No, why are you stopping? You don't care about me. Just, give me a reprieve and leave without saying anything. Please._

A sigh was heard.

"Get better soon, Sebastian."

The door finally shut with a click.

Sebastian could finally breathe a little better.

He was all alone. No one could hurt him now. _Except... Shit. Hummel. Will he tell anyone?_

_I can't go through this shit again! Oh fuck. Please, please don't out me. Shit, shit, no._

The calm breathing didn't last. His breaths became short. His chest started to burn.

_Breathe, Bas. Pick up your phone and tell him. But you don't have his number?_

_People will be suspicious if, all of a sudden, you wanted Hummel's number! The Warblers wouldn't let it go and Blaine would probably say something to Kurt... Bear cub! Dave! They're friends! Dave wouldn't ask too many questions!_

Sebastian leant over to the table beside him and picked up his phone. He ignored the texts from some of his Warbler friends and went straight to the conversation with Dave.

_2:48pm - To: Bear Cub_

_Hey, you have Hummel's number, right? Could I have it?_

The wait was killing him. His fingers drummed against the table nervously, as he awaited a reply.

_2:50pm - From: Bear Cub_

_ yh... u ok man? heard u was in the hosp?_

_2:51pm - To: Bear Cub_

_Bruised everywhere, but no broken bones. So, could I have his number? He came to see me but left something behind._

_2:54pm - From: Bear Cub_

_lol, we part of sum club now? he visit us wen we all down and brken?_

The text was sent along with a string of numbers and he sent a thank you up to some deity before typing the new number into his phone.

_2:56pm - To: Hummel_

_Hey, it's Sebastian. Look, I know we aren't friends but don't mention anything about today._

_2:57pm - To: Hummel_

_Please._

_2:58pm - To: Bear Cub_

_Haha, I think so. Always thought he'd be a sucker for poor souls._

_3:01pm - From: Hummel_

_I wasn't going to. You're kind of an asshole... But no-one deserves to be outed. No matter the subject._

_3:03pm - To: Hummel_

_Good. You're kind of a bitch... But I appreciate it._

_3:06pm - From: Hummel_

_*snort* Thanks for the compliment. I'm here if you ever want to talk, though. Even if I have no idea what to say._

_3:10pm - To: Hummel_

_I'll bear that in mind._

_3:15pm - From: Bear Cub_

_told u he wasnt gonna hold a grudge 4 long. i used to do awful shit 2 him and he 4gave me. god knos i didnt deserve it._

_3:16pm - To: Bear Cub_

_Yeah, yeah. Don't really care._

_3:20pm - From: Hummel_

_You're welcome. *sarcastic smile*_

Sebastian stared at the phone he was holding and let out a small chuckle. Someone knew his secret that he didn't want to tell anyone, ever. But maybe it wasn't so bad? Hummel seemed to be... Well, he said he'd keep his mouth shut. That's something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the comments and the kudos, guys! i didn't expect so much in /one day/. i just expected me and my friends to be reading this, ngl. but special thanks to luke, hunter, harry and lottie for letting me bounce ideas off of them. love you guys :*)  
> also if anyone's interested, i'm over at [kurtbasthallen](http://kurtbasthallen.tumblr.com/) on tumblr and i just uploaded my first ever fanvideo :3


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt wasn't sure what to think if he were being honest. He'd never have expected this in a million years. Not Sebastian, anyway. Someone who spoke about sex so freely and with men, too. Wasn't he supposed to be a lesbian first? That's usually how it goes with transgender men, right? But it couldn't be true with Sebastian, though. He was very very gay. 

He felt really bad for the other teen, though. No one deserves to be outed like that. He's betting that no one else knows. Something like that would spread like wild fire around a school. Especially a school like Dalton. The gossip there was as bad as if it were an all girls school. 

Kurt shoved his phone to the side when he didn't get another reply and headed downstairs into the kitchen where his dad was sat drinking a beer. 

"Hey bud, you alright?" Kurt looked up to find his dad staring at him with concern. He couldn't imagine the look on his face right about now. 

Kurt said to Sebastian that he wouldn't tell anyone, but his dad wouldn't say anything. He didn't even know Sebastian, so he couldn't say anything even if he wanted to, right? His dad was usually good at giving advice. 

"I think so. I just came back from seeing a... Friend in hospital. He got beat up outside a gay bar." Kurt stared down at his hands, playing with the skin around his finger nails. 

"What?! Is he okay? Who was it?"

He could hear the alarmed tone in his dad's voice. A small smile curved his lips; his dad was always so caring and he didn't even know who it was. 

"He said he's okay, nothing was broken... It's someone I know who goes to Dalton." Kurt looked up into his father's eyes and saw the concern shining there, sighing softly. 

"I'm glad he's okay... But I thought things were getting better. Promise me you won't go alone if you ever go somewhere like that at night."

"I promise, Dad. But he wasn't beaten up by some rednecks... From what his Dad said, I think he was beaten up by other gay men." Kurt finally sat down opposite his father, his lip scrunching up towards his nose. 

"What?"

"Apparently, they didn't like finding out that he was born a girl, or something."

Burt's mouth fell open in shock. "Your friend is transgender? I didn't know you had a friend who was transgender."

Kurt shrugged feeling helpless. "Neither did I until his Dad just outed him in front of me." His eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Wait, you know what transgender is?"

kb;kb;kb;kb 

Burt stood up from the table and walked over to the fridge, grabbing another bottle from inside. Closing the door again, he turned around and leant against it, his head dropping down to stare at the floor. "Yeah, I do." A hand lifted to scratch at the back of his neck.

"Look Kurt, when you were growing up, me and your Mom became concerned when all you wanted to do was dress in her clothes and play girls' games." He sighed loudly, moving to sit down at the table so he was sitting next to Kurt rather than opposite him. "It took me awhile to accept it, as I told you. But when she knew she was dying, she sat me down and told me that one day, you might sit me down and tell me that you were in fact a girl." 

Burt took off his cap and scratched at the skin on his scalp, distractedly. "I, of course, freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how I could ever accept that. But, you know, your Mom just gave me a bunch of papers and leaflets .. And just left me to my own devices." He dropped his cap onto the table and took another long gulp from his beer. "The stuff I read scared the shit out of me, bud. I will never be able to get all of those statistics out of my head. Of course, they were worse back then. But, I knew I couldn't watch my child be so unhappy that one day they'd commit suicide."

Reaching out a hand to place on his son's shoulder, he gazed into eyes that were so alike his own. "If your friend's dad outed him to you knowing you were there, he's an asshole. Your friend is one hell of a trooper, that's all I'm saying. I couldn't imagine going through all that crap, and so young, too.."

kb;kb;kb;kb

Kurt could only stare at his Dad as he rambled on. He had never expected his Dad to say this. He had actually expected his Dad to say something insensitive. But here he was, surprising him as he always did. The mention of his Mom left a pain in his chest. God, he missed her. He couldn't believe that she had been so... Well, he wished she were here now. 

"I don't know what to do, Dad. I think I'm the only one who knows. I mean, I know briefly about stuff like this, but I'm no expert." _I_ _don't even know Sebastian that well. He definitely won't want to, all of a sudden, come to me with his problems._  "We're not really close that close either. I'd guess that I'm the last person he ever wanted to find this out."

Kurt felt his father squeeze his shoulder softly. "Just be there for him. Don't ask too many questions. Don't make a big deal out of it. Treat him like normal."

A weak smile curved the corners of his lips as he looked up at his father. "Thanks, Dad."

Burt clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Any time, bud."

_Mom thought I'd turn around one day and say I'm transgender? Was it even known that well back then?_

kb;kb;kb;kb 

Kurt's eyes burned. He could feel his eyes watering desperately. He'd definitely been staring at his computer screen for too long.

His mind was abuzz with all of the information he had just taken in. Once he'd started, he couldn't stop. Reading first hand accounts of other people having gone through such a life-changing event, certainly gave him a new perspective of Sebastian. He was curious as to how he had kept it hidden from the boys at Dalton, though. Blaine said he was on the Lacrosse team? Practices were probably interesting for him. 

Kurt picked up his phone and opened his texting app. 

_8:48pm - To: Timon_

_Is it okay to come back and see you tomorrow? Maybe we should talk about this... Or not. It's up to you. I don't judge you or anything. Just... Does anyone els_ _e_ _know?_

_9:13pm - From: Timon_

_*sigh* I suppose we better get this over and done with. No. No one knows. I never wanted anyone to know. Especially you._

_9:18pm - To: Timon_

_Charming._

_9:22pm - From: Timon_

_No offense. But we aren't even really friends, Hummel._

_9:25pm - To: Timon_

_Still, there's no need to be so rude. I'll be over around 10._

_9:29pm - From: Timon_

_Sorry. See you tomorrow, Hummel. Enjoy your skin sleuthing regimen. Have enough fun for the both of us._

Kurt stared at his phone confused. What the hell did he mean by that comment?


	4. Chapter 4

Before Sebastian knew it, it was 10am and Hummel was walking into his hospital room. He carefully blanked his face and looked up at the other teen as he moved closer to sit in the chair beside him again. 

"Hey," Hummel's voice was quiet, an awkward smile on his face.

"Hey," he parroted back. He didn't even know how to open this conversation. He never wanted to have it in the first place. 

"You feeling any better, today?"

Sebastian bit down on his instinctive reaction to snap a sarcastic comment at him and bobbed his head from side to side. "Kind of. I think they just upped my medication." This awkwardness was driving him up the wall. He just wanted to snap at Hummel and tell him to get the awkward questions out the way but he didn't want to be the one to acknowledge it first. 

Hearing a deep breath, he looked into Hummel's eyes and held his own breath, bracing himself for the inevitable, probably offensive questions. 

"So am I right in thinking you're transgender?" There wasn't any judgement in the other boy's eyes. He could only see an open expression. 

God, he hoped that Hummel didn't expect him to educate him. That was his own job if he wanted to really know. 

"I prefer to use 'trans', but yes. Also, I was never a girl, so don't let that offensive phrase get into your vocabulary." He didn't mean to snap, really, but that had really hit a raw nerve the day before when his father had said it that way. 

Hummel nodded slightly, his face pulling into a slight lip curl. "Noted. I can imagine."

Sebastian's gaze roamed over the other boy's face. He didn't know what to make of him. Hummel had always seemed a bit uptight and like he couldn't wait to insult and snap back at Sebastian, but it just wasn't happening. 

"If you ask how I have sex, I will punch you, so don't."

kb;kb;kb;kb 

Kurt stared at Sebastian, his face rapidly turning pink. That had briefly crossed his mind but then it had weirded him out a little. Weirded him out because he didn't like imagining other people have sex. But he was a little curious, he wasn't going to lie. 

"I wasn't going to," his reply was indignant, his mouth agape. 

The stern face broke out into a smile, before he started to chuckle. "Oh god, your face right now."

Kurt glared at the taller boy wanting to punch him in the arm for teasing him. He stopped himself at the last minute when he remembered that Sebastian was actually injured. Well done, Kurt, you nearly added to his injuries. He gave himself a mental slow clap. 

"You're such an asshole, Smythe."

He was trying to stifle his own smile now; he could feel his lip twitching upwards. It was strange to see an expression on Sebastian's face that wasn't a smirk. 

"I like ass, yes."

There was the smirk. God, it was back. He actually missed the more genuine but foreign expression of the other teen laughing. 

Kurt's eyes almost rolled into the back of his head with the force of his eye roll. He should have expected an answer like that, honestly. 

"You're disgusting."

kb;kb;kb;kb 

Sebastian wiggled his eyebrows obnoxiously. "And you're a prude. We make a right pair, don't we?"

It was strange to not hear questions falling out of Kurts mouth. Like the standard cringe-worthy question of what his birth name was. He was thankful, though. 

He bit his lip as he stared at the other teen, considering where to start just to get everything out of the way.

"Okay, I can't deal with this crap any longer. This is the stuff I'm going to tell you, anything else is my business or you're welcome to look it up in your own time. Agreed?"

Hummel nodded, his face turning curious again. 

"Hello, I'm Sebastian Alexander Smythe. I'm an average 18 year old senior who spends far too much time singing in my bedroom and playing lacrosse. Except for the fact that I'm trans. I've been out since I was 14 years old and no, I've never been a lesbian. I used to live in Paris with both my parents, but they split just before we moved back here. My mother still lives in France." _Yeah because the bitch couldn't accept me_ , he thought trying to contain his anger. "I've applied for a bunch of performing arts schools in New York as I want to pursue a career in that area, preferably musical theatre. Nice to meet you."

Sebastian's mouth shut with a click and folded his arms across his chest, defensive. He didn't know what he was bracing himself for but he felt wary. 

Kurt tilted his head to the side, slightly before replying in kind. "Hi Sebastian, I'm Kurt Elizabeth Hummel and before you say anything, I took on my mother's  after she died. I'm an average 18 year old senior who wants to go into the same career pathway. I love to perform and design and make clothes, and it was a bitch to choose which career to pursue because I love each equally." He seemed to hesitate for a few seconds before continuing. "My dad informed me yesterday that one day he thought I may turn round to him and say I was trans because he's known I was gay since I was three and all I wanted for my birthday was a pair of sensible heels."

Sebastian couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped from his mouth at that. He lifted his hand to cover his mouth, his eyes sparkling and crinkling at the corners. The laughter wouldn't stop. He could just imagine a small Kurt doing that, too. It was highly amusing. He tried to talk through his laughter. "But why did he only tell you yesterday?"

Kurt bit his lip slightly, before replying. "He caught me researching stuff and had a talk with me. Apparently my Mom tried to prepare him before she died."

His chuckles died down, as he nodded. His smile went sad as he looked towards the other teen. "I'm sorry about your Mom."

A small shrug and a simple, "It was a long time ago," was all he got in reply. 

kb;kb;kb;kb 

It was strange having someone know. Sebastian knew that he didn't have to censor himself around one person who wasn't a family member. Sometimes it got rather tiring when he had to hold back on scathing comments about other people, for fear of outing himself. The amount of times he wanted to shout at disgusting men who couldn't aim when they went to the toilet was ridiculous. Seriously, if you can't fucking aim something you've had all of your life, you're a moron. Just use the damn toilet instead and if you still can't aim, sit your ass down. At least he practiced aiming while in the shower and he'd only been doing it for a couple of years. 

"Does other men's hygiene bother you as much as it does me?" He didn't even know what he was talking about at the point. "Like, I can aim better in a toilet better than men who have head dicks all of their lives." Sebastian joked with an eyeroll. It was nice to actually be able to joke about this with someone. 

Hummel stared at Sebastian for a beat before bursting out into chuckles. "Oh my god," he whispered, his hand coming up to his forehead as he laughed. "I actually use the girls bathroom at school because the boys always stinks."

Sebastian grinned at the other teen, laughing himself. "I thought I was going to vomit the first time I used a public mens bathroom. The stench was so awful. That's the only thing I miss." He admitted shrugging slightly. 

The first person he was out to, and they were talking about bathrooms. God, can he get anymore cliché right now?

"Dalton's aren't so bad, though. I think they're actually cleaned more than once a week," he quipped snidely, trying to repress the tilting up of his lips. 

"Wow, you managed to last a day without insulting public schools, I'm proud of you," Hummel replied, holding a hand up to his heart, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips, too. 

"A day? I must be slipping on my ways."

Their friendship was becoming an interesting one to Sebastian. Even aside from the fact that Hummel knew his past. When there would have been scathing expressions attached to their insults, they seemed to have transformed into this verbal banter that he enjoyed just as much. It didn't feel like they were being cruel to each other anymore, it was more teasing. If you would have told him a few months ago, he would've enjoyed Hummel's company and conversation, he would have laughed in your face and pointed towards a mental health facility. 

"That's why I'm here, to keep you on your toes." Hummel laughed along with him. It was pleasant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the late update, guys. i spent all of yesterday and today up north doing a training course for work :3. i got to see my best mate though! (he lives up there and my course just so happened to be right near him ;)). but anyway, thank you so much for your kind reviews and for your kudos. i'm glad you guys are enjoying it :*
> 
> edit: this was meant to go up yesterday, but I also had a training day at work today too, sigh. i did create my first kurtbastian fanvideo though, which was awesome :3. I'm probably going to be doing a time jump for the next chapter because what else can these two boys talk about without it becoming stagnant? sebastian isn't exactly the opening up type, but I'm trying to get him to talk to me lol XD.  
> I hope you enjoy :3


	5. Chapter 5

Elijah Carter Smythe wasn't too happy when he found out that his cousin was in the hospital. Actually, he was furious. With both of them growing up without siblings, and being only a few years apart in age, they had always been close. Even when they were in different countries, they'd talk to each other often. 

By the time he'd managed to get away from his college work to come and visit Sebastian, he had been discharged from the hospital. He'd wanted to come sooner but his professors had said they'd fail him if he didn't submit his course work before he left for Ohio. Elijah had been tempted to tell them to go fuck themselves but Sebastian had just told him that he didn't want to be responsible for getting him kicked out of college and to just come when he could.

Trying to get a last minute flight from LaGuardia to Columbus wasn't that much of a bitch, but walking through a packed airport when you weren't in the best of moods was. He felt like he had lasers coming out of his eyes when anyone so much as bumped into him or walked across his path. The flight was pretty uneventful but he missed the comfort of first class. He liked first class, so sue him. 

Worrying about his younger cousin who he was fiercely protective of didn't help. He wanted to find those assholes who beat him up and beat the shit out of them, himself. He felt like it was him and Sebastian against the world most of the time. Well, it felt like that when they were growing up but even more so when Sebastian came out to him. It was almost as if Elijah was the only person who accepted him. His aunt was a complete and utter bitch and his uncle was trying, but they needed to try harder. _It'd been four years, already, for christ's sake. Pull your heads out of your asses._

He just wanted to see his cousin and make sure he was okay. Phone calls only did so much to reassure you. So what if he had only seen Sebastian a few weeks ago at his show choir competition? It still felt like it was too long ago. Plus, his uncle had let slip about a guy visiting him more than once while he was still in hospital. He was going to enjoy interrogating him about that.

kb;kb;kb;kb 

"Does this mean you're getting some ass, Sebby?"

The voice that greeted him as he came around from his sleep was a welcome one. He turned over onto his back and looked over to the chair beside him. There sat Elijah in all his glory. A confused smile crossed his lips.

"Huh?"

His brain was a little fuzzy from the drugs he was on, but even to him normally this seemed far out of left field.

"Your dad mentioned a guy visiting you multiple times at the hospital." He recognised that smirk and felt like groaning. "A gay guy. When do I get to meet him?" _  
_

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, folding his arms across his chest. "How about never?" His jaw clenched a little at the memory of that day in the hospital. "To answer your question, no. Dad outed me to him and I had to do damage control so he came back to visit me once."

Elijah's face grew stormy; his eyes going from a warm blue to a dark grey. He could just imagine the thoughts flying through his head. It caused a warmth to start in his chest. God, he'd missed him. It was nice to feel protected. He couldn't wait for the day when he moved to New York for college and moved in with his cousin. The escape from this shitty town in this shitty state would be so sweet.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Sebastian sighed loudly, reaching out to grab Elijah's arm as he moved to get up. "'Lij, it's not worth it. Kurt said he'd keep quiet about it anyway." Even if I have been awful to him in the past.

kb;kb;kb;kb

Elijah had to dig his nails into his skinny jeans to stop himself from wrenching his arm away and running to give his uncle a piece of his mind, anyway. But he wouldn't go against Sebastian's wishes. Not right now, anyway. His uncle had had it coming to him for quite awhile, actually.

"Kurt, huh? So, who is he? Details? I haven't heard about him."

He was relishing in this opportunity to tease his cousin. He usually only heard of Sebastian getting laid, not of someone who actually stuck around. Sebastian looked pained, his head falling back to thump against the pillow underneath his head. He wanted to laugh but that seemed a little cruel, so he just gave him an encouraging smile.

"He's an ex-Dalton student who I met when I was trying to steal his boyfriend - not that I knew the guy had a boyfriend, at the time - but, we ended up exchanging these sarcastic comments and barbs whenever we'd see each other. It was rather entertaining. But there was something about him that made me want to take him down a peg or two. He tended to act like he was better than me. So, I put salt in a slushie in an attempt to ruin his clothes because he seemed to really love them. But then his genius boyfriend pushed him out of the way and it ended up in his eyes... I nearly got caught but Kurt let me off with saying that he didn't want to miss watching me lose to his glee club. We did lose in the end, but... It wasn't until his friend and someone I once shut down attempted suicide and I realised how out of hand I had gotten. I turned into someone I hated, 'Lij. I made awful comments to Kurt, kicking him down for looking and acting girly... I just... Dad has been pushing masculinity on me. He keeps telling me that if I want to ever be treated like a normal man, that I have to be masculine and can't do anything feminine whatsoever. It hurt. He was telling me that I was acting like a girl with my singing and dancing... I just shoved all of that frustration on Kurt and I feel terrible... I think we are kind of friends now? I apologised for everything I did... I haven't deleted his number, anyway. I'm just glad he hasn't outed me."

Sebastian's story had come out jilted and awkward. Sometimes rushed, and sometime like he was dragging the words out. God, he wanted to punch his uncle in the face now. How dare he make Sebastian feel this way? Elijah was more feminine than Sebastian was, for christ's sake.  He ran his hand through his messy fringe roughly, feeling frustrated.

"You listen to me, Bastian. Your dad is talking bullshit. I'm more effeminate than you. Hell, my voice is higher than yours. But, this guy seems like he'd be a good friend. Maybe you should keep a hold of him."

He just wanted Sebastian to be happy. Sometimes he worried that Sebastian just threw himself into sex because he was afraid he wouldn't find anyone to love him. Elijah hadn't exactly set a good example. He was just as bad. But, he was worried. I mean, look at the consequences of some guys who had found out about his past? He just wanted Sebastian to find someone and be happy. He deserved it.

"Maybe."

Sebastian's face was blank as he stared at the blanket, picking at a thread lightly. He just wanted to climb onto the bed and hug him like they did when they were kids. So, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the late update; work has been hectic and i've just come back from wales comic con and meeting rick cosnett again *_* (eddie thawne in the flash) and omg he's such a babe.  
> after this chapter, i'm going to be dealing with the events of canon, now. like, the next chapter will cover big brother, and so on and so forth.  
> i have so much planned already, it's just going to be getting there.  
> if you're still reading this, i love you guys and thank you :*  
> i'm over at tumblr with the same name :P


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is where the chapters start to fit in around canon episodes :P.  
> this is he coda to big brother.  
> ooh, i forgot to say, Elijah looks like [this](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/36200000/One-Direction-image-one-direction-36200269-1280-1024.jpg).

A regulated vibration against wood broke through his haze of sleep. God, he was going to rip the shit out of whoever was texting him and disturbing his sleep. Sebastian stretched out his arm, hitting a firm chest covered by cotton on the way. _Oops_. He scrabbled around the nightstand for his phone, before grabbing it and reluctantly opening his eyes. He winced slightly at the bright light, squinting his eyes as he adjusted to the brightness. 

_Hummel._

Why was Kurt texting him at this time? His gaze skidded to the top of the screen and saw it was 11am. Okay, it wasn't that early. These meds must really knock him out.

_10:58am - From: Hummel_

_I JUST MET THE MAN WHO SINGS MY RING TONE. HE'S SO HOT._

Sebastian stared at his phone completely confused. Why the hell was Kurt texting him about this? Why did he think he'd care?

_11:01am - To: Hummel_

_I think you have the wrong number, Hummel._

_11:02am - From: Hummel_

_He's the best looking man in North America... and I know it's you Sebastian._

_11:05am - To: Hummel_

_And why would I care?_

_11:07am - From: Hummel_

_Because it's Blaine's brother. Blaine's brother is Cooper Anderson._

It was too early for this. Sebastian dragged a hand down his face, rubbing over his itchy eye. Who the fuck was Cooper Anderson? He couldn't help his curiosity and brought up google images of Cooper Anderson. There were a few guys in his image search but one in particular caught his eye. A man with sharp cheekbones and a jawline that could cut glass. But he didn't look anything like Blaine? This guy had stunning blue eyes. He went back to the normal web search and came across a video for a commercial with this man and clicked it. The man's looks didn't stop him from cringing at the awful acting but his voice was nice.

_11:16am - To: Hummel_

_The gorgeous guy from that savings commercial?_

_11:17am - To: Hummel_

_I just googled him._

_11:19am - From: Hummel_

_Yes! That jingle is my ringtone._

Sebastian laughed at his phone. Only Hummel would have such a shitty commercial as his ringtone. But, that guy was Blaine's brother? He'd been going after the wrong Anderson.

_11:22am - To: Hummel_

_You can have Blaine. I've been going after the wrong Anderson, clearly._

_11:24am - From: Hummel_

_I don't think he's gay, Smythe._

_11:26am - To: Hummel_

_And? He can tell me that himself._

He never received a reply from the other boy, so he dropped his phone back on the nightstand before laying back down on the bed.

Well, that was weird. He knew that him and Kurt were kind of friends now, but him texting him about finding another guy, who wasn't Blaine, attractive? That was something new.

kb;kb;kb;kb

_2:05pm - From: Hummel_

_This ended up happening. They're both so handsome and good. *heart eyes emoji*_

_2:10pm - From: Hummel_

_*[video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqPspBEFQ6Q)*_

_2:11pm - From: Hummel_

_You're welcome._

Sebastian had been watching a re-run of Doctor Who on BBC America with Elijah when he received the texts from Kurt. Elijah had grown up in England, and while they had been growing up, Elijah had made him watch the show over Skype with him. He hadn't been too happy about it when he was younger. But, he secretly loved the show.

Opening up the video, he saw a still of Blaine and his newly discovered brother with their arms around each other, from the point of view of someone to the left of an audience. He guessed this was the New Directions choir room, from the piano in the background. As it started to play, his eyes kept on flickering to the taller man until he opened up his mouth. Wow. He knew that Cooper was a good singer from that awful commercial, but hearing him sing Duran Duran was even better. He almost wished he could reach into the phone and turn down Blaine's singing. Their in-sync dance moves were kind of adorable. He couldn't keep his eyes off Cooper. He was just so handsome. Then, all of a sudden, Cooper was directly in front of the camera singing. He must've moved up to Kurt, and god, he was thankful for that. And then he had turned around and all he could see was Cooper's butt. Okay, yep, this was definitely worth thanking Kurt for. He almost laughed when Cooper pushed Blaine away from him so he was center-stage. From what he had heard, Blaine had always had center-stage with the Warblers and it was almost like karma. Jesus, what was happening to him?

Then the video was over. He could feel Elijah's eyes burning into him. Without looking up, he mumbled, "Wow. That man is gorgeous."

Elijah stared at Sebastian for a few seconds before stealing the phone from his lax hands, replaying the video. He had only heard it and now he wanted to see if this guy was really as good-looking as Sebastian's face seemed to express. 

Sebastian looked up at his cousin when he heard the video cut out again. "That's the guy I've been texting's boyfriend and older brother. He text me earlier about meeting him and how hot he was. I think I definitely understand now." His voice was a little thin, like he was talking from far away.

Elijah laughed a little at his cousin's expression, passing him back his phone. "He's definitely attractive. Although, I don't really see what you see in your friend's boyfriend." His face scrunched up a little. That outfit alone was a complete turn-off. "I didn't know you were into geek-chic, Seb."

"Geek-chic?" Sebastian asked, a little confused. He looked back down at his phone and couldn't help but laugh at the still that now greeted him. Blaine's face was scrunched like he was angry and the outfit he was wearing today was a bit awful. "Oh," he replied, laughing.

"So, do you have any pictures of your friend?" Elijah asked, his eyebrows wiggling obnoxiously. He hoped he was better looking than the guy in the video. Don't get him wrong, he was alright looking, he just wasn't stunning. He didn't understand why Sebastian was obsessed with him for so long.

Sebastian looked at him like he'd grown a third head. "No. Why would I have pictures of him?"

Elijah shrugged. "I just want to know what he looks like."

_2:30pm - To: Hummel_

_Damn. I definitely appreciated the view of Cooper's ass so thank you for that._

_2:31pm - To: Hummel_

_Not too sure what Blaine would think if he knew that you filmed his brother's ass, though. ;)_

_2:33pm - From: Hummel_

_That was unintentional! It's not my fault Cooper decided to dance in front of me._

_2:35pm - To: Hummel_

_You keep telling yourself that, Hummel._

kb;kb;kb;kb

A few days later, Sebastian opened the door to the Lima Bean and gestured for Elijah to go in before him. He had managed to convince the other man to drive them here. One, he was going stir crazy spending so much time indoors. And two, he was craving coffee that wasn't so much effort to make. It didn't hurt as much anymore when he moved so Elijah had reluctantly agreed. 

"Thanks, Seb... They better have other things than coffee, though," Elijah made a face at the thought.

Sebastian had always mocked Elijah over how British he was sometimes. The man who obsessed with tea but hated coffee. He rolled his eyes at his cousin, and walked up to the counter ordering himself his usual. "Yes, 'Lij, for the last time. They do tea, too." He turned back to the barista. "Can I also have a large Earl Grey with milk, too, please."

They moved to the opposite end of the counter and waited for their drinks. "Why did you make me drive all the way out here for coffee, anyway? It's a bit far," Elijah complained, leaning against the counter.

"Because the coffee is good." And he maybe wanted to bump into Cooper and meet the man in the flesh, he thought, as his gaze roamed around the shop trying to see anyone familiar.

Elijah looked his cousin up and down with a raised eyebrow. "Uh-huh." His gaze automatically went to the door when he heard the jingle that announced a customer. "Wow, hot guy alert," he mumbled as he stood up more. Elijah looked the man up and down. He had the pretty-boy look, with soft features, up-swept hair and lightly coloured eyes. And a fashion sense, it seemed. "Be right back," he stated, picking up his drink and walking over to the guy.

Sebastian looked up and realised just who Elijah was about to hit on and choked a little. He felt like he should warn him, but he knew that Elijah would just take it as more of a challenge, so bit his tongue. This was going to be entertaining.

Elijah approached the guy just as he got to the cashier and watched as he ordered his drink, cutting in just before he handed over his money. "This one's on me," Elijah said, handing over his credit card with a charming smile to the lady behind the counter. The cashier blinked at him in surprise before answering him with her own smile and taking his card. The man may be drinking coffee, but he was still hot. He held out his hand to the man in front of him, "I'm Elijah."

Kurt turned to the man beside him, shocked. He wasn't used to people buying his drinks for him. Well, someone other than his boyfriend, anyway. The man in front of him was slightly shorter, with bright blue eyes, a messy but styled hairstyle, stubble and was wearing a vans raglan with skin-tight jeans and ankle boots. He was actually quite handsome. The smile he was aiming his way was a bit familiar, though, he couldn't quite place it. He didn't think he was American, either. "Well, thank you," he replied, returning Elijah's smile with his own. "I'm Kurt."

Elijah stared at him for a beat too long. Wasn't Kurt the name of Sebastian's new friend? "It's a pleasure to meet you, love." He aimed his most charming smile Kurt's way, trying not to chuckle when he saw Kurt melt a little.

"The pleasure's all mine," Kurt's voice was slightly breathy. Elijah was really rather handsome. That was definitely an English accent.

"So, what's someone like you with that fashion sense doing in such a drab place like Ohio? I bet no-one appreciates your fashion, do they?" His gaze ran up and down Kurt's body. It fit him in all the right places. Most people in Ohio wore too much flannel.

Kurt puffed up a little at the compliment. Finally someone who gets it. "Unfortunately I was born here, but I'm headed to New York in the summer."

Elijah's smile widened, if it were possible. This was perfect. "Oh, really? I live there actually. I'm just in town visiting my cousin."

Kurt's eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together. "That's amazing! I've always dreamed of living there."

God, Kurt was adorable. "It is incredible. I haven't looked back since."

Kurt's order was finally called out, so they both moved over to the other end of the counter where Sebastian was still standing, trying to hide his laughter behind his drink.

Kurt collected his drink and finally seemed to notice Sebastian, his voice faltering a little. "Sebastian! Wha-what are you doing here?"

Elijah looked between the two teenagers. So he was right, this Kurt was Sebastian's Kurt. Jesus, why had he gone after Blaine when Kurt.... But people had different tastes didn't they. 

Sebastian smirked at Kurt, laughing. "Getting some coffee, you know? I felt well enough to be driven here. My cousin is such a nice lad, isn't he?" He just stared into Kurt's eyes waiting for the penny to drop.

Kurt looked between the two men standing beside each other, Sebastian laughing and Elijah just looking at him with a smile. 

Elijah finally opened his mouth to talk, raising his eyebrows slightly. "So, this is Kurt, huh? I should've guessed that this would be the same Kurt you told me about, Bastian." He looked towards Sebastian with that familiar smirk.

It all made sense as to why Elijah looked familiar now. They actually looked quite similar for two people who were cousins. Especially that goddamn smirk.

Kurt looked at Sebastian. "You've been talking about me? I definitely think I prefer Elijah. He is such a nice lad, as you put it." He was laughing now, too. This was just so surreal. Sebastian had a cousin who was English who lived in New York and was really attractive. This cousin also hit on him a soon as he saw him. It was an ego and confidence booster, actually. Someone who was so widely-travelled and so out there, came up to him and thought he was attractive enough to buy him a drink.

Sebastian held a hand to his chest, looking wounded. "I'm hurt, Hummel. Although, where's Blaine? I'd have expected your shadow to be beside you... Or did he find out about your crush on his brother and get annoyed?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, taking a small sip of his coffee. "Blaine is making up with his brother, at the moment. They've been arguing all week. Blaine and Cooper are similar with their obliviousness. He kept on being rather insensitive towards Blaine but I knocked some sense into him and now they're making up. Cooper may be really handsome but, his advice about acting... He has no idea what he's talking about." Catching their confused gazes, Kurt shook his head. "Long story."

Elijah smirked at Kurt and patted him lightly on the arm. "Thank you for filming that performance. We definitely appreciated it. Although, I don't hold my cousin's opinion on Blaine. I think you can do better."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Elijah. "Thank you, I think? But that is my boyfriend so watch your mouth." He playfully waggled his finger at Elijah before walking over to a table to sit down, when he realised that they were still just standing there at the counter.

Elijah and Sebastian followed Kurt and sat down opposite him. Sebastian shook his head, slightly. "Shut up, 'Lij." He reached out and punched his cousin in the shoulder. "Don't be so rude."

Elijah shrugged before sticking his tongue out at Sebastian. "I'm just saying Blaine isn't my type," he replied looking at both men with an innocent expression.

Kurt watched as both guys interacted, playfully hitting each other and joking around. He had never had any close relatives his own age and it made him a little sad. But he hoped that him and Finn could be as close, as Sebastian and Elijah were, one day. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i know. i wanted it to be a surprise. basically i have a lot of headcanons for bastian and they've collected over the years. but yes, this is probably the first of many chapters/fics in this story. this is also my first fic on here and my first kurtbastian fic :3


End file.
